Leo Rizzuti

Earlier today I read an opinion piece regarding Barack Obama being given (and I stress “given”) the Nobel Peace Prize, an award that even the Chosen One has expressed he has done nothing to earn. Granted, he’s still going to keep it, but he spent the majority of the day with the same puzzled look on his face that is normally reserved for times that he is forced to listen to Joe Biden speeches.

At any rate, the piece highlighted the action packed schedule that President Obama had during his first 12 days in office. This is important, because the Nobel Committee has to have nominations in by February 1st, so these were the only actions by His Obama-ness that they could definitively look to in considering his prize worthiness. Here is Barack Obama’s first 12 days:

January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.

January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an “open house” party at the White House.

January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (how’s that working out?)

January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.

January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.

January 25: Skipped church.

January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner’s swearing in ceremony.

January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.

January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.

January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.

January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.

January 31: Took the day off.

February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.

(Schedule by Tommy De Seno, FOXNews.com, October 09, 2009)

Of course, this schedule is offered a little tongue-in-cheek, but it is still fairly accurate. It is just written in an entertaining manner. Believe me, if I actually gave you the White House account of the President’s schedule you would be asleep already. Then you would have to deal with drooling into your keyboard and the embarrassment of walking around with keypad impressions on your face. Trust me, this way is better.

By contrast, here is my schedule (as best I can remember it) for the same 12 days in the early part of 2009:

January 20: Went to work, where the main topic of conversation was Obama being sworn in as president. Threw up.

January 21: Met with boss to about early departure day before. Told him of topic of conversations. He threw up. Later, asked wife to rewrite “honey-do” list.

January 22: Signed up for email blocker because of massive number of messages from friends that voted for Obama. Expressed desire to arrange hunting trip for them with Dick Cheney.

January 23: Ordered release of funds to local utilities provider. Lunch with harmless boob Mike and known weasel Peter from office (I had to cover Peter’s bill, he had “forgotten” his wallet.).

January 24: Cashed paycheck, went over budget with the wife. Decided that I could no longer afford weekly trip to Hooters, she can continue daily Hobby Lobby visits.

January 25: Went to church. Prayed for America and Obama.

January 26: Gave speech to family about not leaving door open. Used classic “not heating the whole neighborhood” tactic. Told that maybe I need to get a better job.

January 27: Met with Democrat buddies. Considered throwing self off clock tower.

January 28: Sales meeting in the morning, met with vendors in the afternoon. Probably should have slept in.

January 29: Signed new customer to contract, will have no effect on my wages. Weasel Steve snuck in bottle of “Captain Morgan”, party in the supply closet. Later, met with angry stares from boss trying to locate a stapler.

January 30: Met with weasel Steve about economics of alcohol procurement. Gave him speech on middle class worker covering his lunch bill. Reminded him that I was a potentially angry Marine.

January 31: Read that President Obama was taking the day off. Sounded like a good idea.

February 1: Went to church. Prayed for nation, Obama and Steelers. Much merriment later after Super Bowl.

As you can plainly see, my productivity was at least as high as Obama’s for the same length of time. Actually more so, as I don’t see anywhere that Obama either prayed for me or bought anybody lunch. This is not a complaint against Barack Obama’s first days. There was no way that he knew he was being scrutinized by the folks in Norway. If he did he probably would have at least tried to go to church. It is more of a statement that these are the apparent standards held by the people giving out the Peace Prize.

In that light, I await notification of my award by the Nobel Committee.